The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
have you seen my purse? i cant find it and my ipod is in there and that shit totally cost more than my abortion.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
Ita all starting to make sense i need vodka like i need air
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Rumble strips road head = magical
I'd rather take 10 virginities than catch something. Right now I should be good, I mean the sex with Jake was so bad he can't possibly have an std
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
He handed me a temporary tattoo and said cover the hickey up with this
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
You added his wife on Facebook?! You're horrible at this mistress thing
He wants to buy me a wedding ring and pretend to be married to someone else when we fuck. It actually makes me wet thinking about it.
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize
