Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
just dd'd my mom home while she begged me to let her drunk dial my ex, jammed out to party in the usa, and then passed the fuck out. thanks for the genes mom.
We have a drunk bartender with her nips a quarter inch from bein out buying us shots. GET HERE.
You just said the magic words
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
i was like his sober eyes girls would come up to us, show us theirs and if approved by me blew him, if rejected they went to my truck with a bottle of patron
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
I think it really helped to be hungover at accepted students day. it gave me a good feel for how it would be everyday if I go there.
Come over. We're getting stoned and watching DogTV
Definitely broke my toe and messed up my knee walking back. Drink hitch hiking should never happen again.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
If the sex wasn't incredible why would I compare it to cheesy tots
He's a 30 yr old man who voluntarily goes by Stevie and his job title is "Jumbotron Operator". There's a 97.5% chance he lives in his mom's basement. STOP THIS NOW!!!
Randomize
