they said they heard you say put it in my butt
I just realized this is gonna be the last time that I'm high in my childhood home. I'm kinda sad. I'm really high..
he bit the head off a dead goose for 5 beers. this is my future boyfriend.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
I got up before the sun today. That makes me sun for the day.
When did you start smoking in order to be high by 4:30?
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
do you think me going to the gyno dressed as a cat is inappropriate?
I have suspicion of morning wood.
How are you unsure as to the current state of your penis?
I'm ready to get married, then we can lie around watching anime and eating pizza while he rubs baby oil on me
I lost a shoe at the club last night, I think that's when I decided to go home.
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I got my gum stuck on his balls.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
