Will you Wikipedia Vin Diesel? Is he gay? It's important...
i just realized that im half way to my goal of puking in every single toilet on our floor
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
I'm at his house right now making him pancakes to compensate for YOU not giving him a handjob last night. You're welcome.
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
she comes in perfect pitch. hook up with more singers.
I woke up with his condom in my mouth. I actually use them now you should be proud of me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
He fucked me so hard my nail polish actually chipped. I'm keeping him.
Its nights like last night that make me want to high five my liver.
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