She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So they're giving me a CT scan because I probably have a hernia. From getting a BJ from you. Really. This may be a pivotal moment in my decision to write a book about my life
Chicken strips. I got my nose broken because of Chicken strips.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
I almost went home with him but then my hydroxycut fell out of my purse at the bar and I ran away
id like to think im the only pot dealing prostitute that is also an ordained minister. but maybe not. what a time to be alive
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
I just heard a crying baby from out my apartment window and yelled SAME
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