sometimes i really wish you were a nugget.
Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
I wana party with Kermit the frog, no wait. Fozzy the bear. He's probably a silly bitch when he's drunk.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
Just witnessed some guy throw his fake eye at his dad's face. Actually, he whipped it at him.
The difference between 22 and 28 is bigger than I realised. I had the urge to put on Spongebob and give him a cookie.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
So I had this brilliant idea that I would sleep in all sorts of sweatpants and sweatshirts... Apparently I thought I could "sweat" off the drunk in my sleep and that it would make me feel better when I woke up
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
come on Dane.. ive been there. im like the female version of you, except with morals
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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