They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
you told me to make out with him to promote the social success of the sorority
I submitted an essay to my history teacher comparing changes in the middle ages to the song changes by David Bowie. I can't wait to see my grade on that.
While drunk it seemed like a good idea to barricade my roommate in his room with everything that we could move in our apartment, waking up to him screaming from it collapsing on top of him was just an added bonus.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
My new hangover cure is going for a haircut, just so the stylists give me a scalp massage during the shampoo.
That certainly explains the nine times your hair has looked different just this last month alone.
you sternly forced jackson to start preheating the oven around midnight so you could make bagels in the morning
you were serious about those bagels
So i came so hard i almost passed out, where has this vibrator been all my life?
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
My last one night stand called me today. Apparently I gave him a yeast infection in his mouth. Not sure how I should feel about this.
You know that we wouldn’t even be talking about all this if you would have kept your candy consumption judgement comments to yourself.
Randomize