the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
well when mom kept referring to my "black hole of a vagina" and how i devoured all the nuts at the party like i was a pro, i figured my stay was up.
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
...he tried to burn down someone's house once. ABORT ABORT ABORT
Watched twin sisters make out thought it was amazing sick on their part but legit to watch
I'm sorry I didn't respond. I had a shit day. However, I just masturbated to Adele's Rolling In the Deep while crying. It was oddly therapeutic.
Yep if he's taking selfies he's probably on drugs again.
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
We should leave before they realize I dumped a bowl of Fritos in your bag just in case I got hungry
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
