I just spent the last hour spooning with my drug dealer.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
If you win this game of words with friends, ill suck you off for 30 minutes. No lie.
I cant last that long. Do i get the rollover minutes?
Just beat off to internet porn while talking to my mom on the phone and eating a cinnamon roll. U have 5 minutes to get on my level
He passed out naked in my bathroom, then took a shower, then passed out again and then took another shower. Last time I let my brother visit.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
Going to be a long day. text me later. Sorry I puked in your sink.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
OMG I WAS JUST THINKING ABOUT HOW OUR FRIENDSHIP IS SO REAL BECAUSE I SHOW YOU DICK PICS AND WE LAUGH TOGETHER.
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
After last night I am convinced that you are the human embodiment of alcoholism and bad decisions.
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Randomize
