He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
He was wearing his Class of 2007 shirt so I sat there for 5 minutes and read all the names of the guys I can remember giving head to.
This will be amazing. Plus he's going to do a line of cocaine off of the other guy's ass.
I'm having a flashback of telling a guy that he was beautiful and graceful like a unicorn while playing shuffleboard.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Just saw him riding in a basket on the front of a bike trying to feed the other guy beer. He screamed 'PARTY BIKE BITCHES!' at me as they rode past.
I lied. He's hitting on a drag queen now. Should I rescue him or take pictures?
All I kmoe is rheres a coffee pot full pf vodka in my purse
A man pulled out his penis last night and when I said I wouldn't touch it, he said, "that's fine it just needs to breathe".
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I mean go ahead and let your freak flag fly but if you could not fly it in my bed that would be great
I really regret not asking “like a cupcake” when you asked me to eat your ass
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
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