We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
Car fucking is for special occasions like birthdays and bank holidays. Don't want to lose the magic by making it an everyday thing.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
So I bring Danny back to the apartment for the first time and my roommate is curled up in the beanbag in the middle of the floor, wearing nothing but her uggs, high out of her mind and watching Harry potter... She offered us kettle corn.
He asked if he could come over tomorrow....
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
SMOKEY THE BEAR CAME AT US WITH FUCKING AXES IN MY DREAM I THINK IT IS A SIGN TO STOP BLAZING IT IN THE WOODS
She walked up to me and whispered "I hope you're good at sex" and led me to the beach.
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
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