Yes, I fucked her, no she wasn't that loose, yes she caused more drama than a 14 year old girl
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
all she kept saying was "harder" "mayo" and "who are you"
Yes, you did come over last night. You also tried to give my dog a blowjob. You got rejected.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
Ya know, since we do have alot of sex with each other i figure i should wish you a happy valentines day
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
Let's buy some Wrangler jeans and be real live men.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
I wish I could open myself up and check on my liver. Make sure it's hanging on. Ya know?
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
It’s the universal cock block of this decade
FUCK THE COCKBLOCK 19
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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