it doesn't get any better than taco bell and soft core porn
I just realized I haven't had steady access to a woman's body since I was breastfeeding.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I gave him a handjob while watching the presidential address. Needless to say, it was weird.
In the 30 seconds it took me to leave the bar I let the barback motorboat me, ripped open a stranger's shirt and bit his chest, then made out with El Camino dude. No, I'm not coming out tonight.
No. If you are gonna end this, you are gonna do it right. Not by getting bombed and falling on a strange penis. That was the old you.
I always congratulate people on their vaginal emancipation.
I'm gonna let my dick speak for itself from now on. Seriously, it's always recruiting for me even after 6 hours of drinking.
We're not on Beacon Street anymore so now your argument about not peeing on the sidewalk holds no water. Whereas my bladder has holded every water.
i just called my dad a bottom. he agreed
Say whatever you bloody well like; you don't know the true meaning of life until you have smoked to a Sade cd.
What happened to fro yo and sex?
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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