Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
She brought up feelings... her days are numbered
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
I was freaked out. No man over 50 is allowed to touch me. Ever. Unless you're Michael Bolton. Then please do.
We have a guy passed out in the bathroom with one of our pots. Not sure if he's your friend so I let him be
No clues in my phone. Only dialed call: my own social security number. And that was before 10:00pm.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I am in a hotel room with 10 people. John is in bed eating an industrial sized pan of mashed potatoes. I think a non insignificant number of people saw my nipples.
i just hope we're both dead or in prison at the same time
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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