: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
I am moving slowly w him. I havent even masturbated to him yet.
he was banged his ex for coke the whole time and is still the best guy so far this year. standards need to be raised.
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
Currently tripping balls and watching Pink Floyd the wall and I'm crying during it. If this isn't a self realization then I don't know what to tell you.
#tbt to when you let me put plastic wrap on your balls and hum a little song
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
