Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I'm going to show my kids 2 girls 1 cup just to scare them away from porn
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
It was the easiest thing I've ever done. 3am she walked into my room, saw my Buffalo Bills blanket, said go bills and got naked.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
Randomize
