Just saw an old lady trip and stumble. Laughed. Kept Driving. I'm going to hell.
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
i can't believe i had a foursome before a threesome
The future queen of Norway was pregnant with a druglord's baby when she met the prince. We still have hope.
No driving. The car is spinning. I am praying for mcdonalds.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Shame tastes like burnetts and latex
You did it first. I was merely expressing my support for you, by pressing my testicles against a window.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
When we were done he got down next to the bed and I thought he was Tebowing. He was hitting a bong that he had already loaded and hidden under the bed.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
We cuddled after till the morning. Then he woke up sober... and straight.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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