Last night we were drunk and talking about rude things, I mentioned felching and had to explain it to everyone. Everyone was disgusted and asked how I knew about such filth and I told them you told me. Don't get mad. Also a quck heads up, you might get gifts of straws at work,
I can't believe I wasted a google wave invite on her.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hamster emergency. Can u come in here
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
In celebration of finishing my homework, lets drink tea w/ vodka
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