Oscar is the man. He keeps getting pictures of hot nude women with messages in spanish saying "i hope you like it" sent to his phone
whose oscar?
the baller who i guess decided to give out a fake number at the bar last weekend. luckily that fake number was mine. i have enough porn to last me until next month.
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
I can't believe you're fucking in the bar bathroom, but everyone else can, and they're really proud.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
I was pissing in the urinal at the concert and some drunk chick ran in and yelled 'but the lines to fucking long' then ran out with 10 state troopers chasing her... Yeah
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
He somehow pantsed the bouncer and tipped him over before cartwheeling and skipping away? Help me find him.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I wish I could have seen the drive thru woman's face after " May I please have 20 Mcflurrys.....and a large diet coke, I'm trying to watch my weight for bikini season."
what better way to celebrate the birth of jesus christ than to get embarrassingly intoxicated and make poor decisions!?
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
