Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
we did it on the carpet and she just yells out "OH. MY PSORIASIS".
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
trust me, there is no more disappointing feeling in the world than waking up at 4 in the morning with a random half naked chick in your bed and then realizing your roommates girlfriend just wandered into the wrong room.
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
You woke me up at 2 am to tell me I could pee in a golf club if I wanted to.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
At this point in job hunting, I'm willing to become a leather daddy if it means some sort of income.
What even was the context for that. All I have written down is "I would vote for President SnakeJaw."
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Interesting, I was always told to run away from crazy, but you seem to think we should run towards them dick first.
Randomize