you started whispering 'the itsy bitsy spider' while you were putting your hands up my shorts.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
My gaydar just like overheated and exploded watching the male figure skaters on the olympics
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
She can't drink and she can't smoke weed. She might as well be dead to me.
This is no lauging matter. Huge cock equals great sex. Marriage to huge cock equals great life.
Just sit in your kitchen floor until something speaks to you.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I told him he wasn't aloud to one word text me. Unless that one word was threesome
That shot was terrible
You were like one of those guys at carnivals that spit out fire..... Except it was throw up
at crossfit today a guy shit his pants while deadlifting 405 lbs. coach made fun of him then congratulated him on his new personal record.
Why did you load my phone up with pics of Al Gore?
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
The cops high fived after they tackled you
Randomize
