Haym$ered
turn off your phone and go to bed
she went to type in rate my professors and rate my pussy came up in my recent searches. needless to say, i will likely be masturbating to the aforementioned site tonight.
Actually, considering the facts that I am wearing a duct tape dress and eating a gas station quesadilla, I am pretty good.
JOY: That feeling when you crack open a handle for the first time, and the flow limiter comes off with the cap.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
It's tough not drinking when the bartender adds rum to your coke without telling you, and doesn't charge you
Not sure if you're still doing the whole "sleeping with only one person" thing but if you're not we should sleep together when I get back in town tonight.
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
I ended up in th ER yelling my height weight and age
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
you know you're drunk when you start breaking down your body composition into organic molecules
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Randomize
