I was just informed that you are the reason for my 2 missing front teeth.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Even the bar was yelling boobs, so of course the shirt came off
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
You used up your allotted blow job minutes for the month of April last night anyways
So I've decided to grow a vagina forest. Because I'm single and it's like a zen garden. Brings a new meaning to long hair don't care.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
We had half a pitcher of beer left and he asked us if we wanted a to-go cup. Fuck yeah we want it to-go.
i woke up with 5 inch heels locked on my feet and my car keys missing. this is gonna be an interesting walk home
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
you have to get here a cop came into the bar and she looks like Sarah Palin. I think I'm gonna try and bang her
Randomize
