Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Wearing these hooker shoes was a mistake
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Do you think red sox nation has an official powerpoint template/memo format for resignations of manny support, bandwagon applications, and other official business?
is there any particular reason you took a shit in a zip lock bag and left it in my refrigerator?
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Sorry 4 always trying to rope you into my sexual exploits
The abomination is in progress. At least one barista side eyed me and the other has fear in her eyes
Randomize
