Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
my mom just informed me that i masturbate loudly
Are you going to tell your therapist we boned?
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
LEAVE MY LITTLE DICK OUT OF THIS
They tried to convince me I broke Alex's nose. Also they stranded me on the roof.
That's what they get for locking a drunk laxer in Mitch's car.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
When the nurses wouldn't let him smoke in the hospital he decided to just roll around on the floor.
Randomize
