He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
Ummmm I went to see who was upstairs, he was the only one in his room so we had sex while the travel channel played in the background.
Oh good. Romantic. Still, I'm jealous of the sex.
Probably not, since he made me promise not to tell anyone it only lasted ten seconds.
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
He walked into my room in the middle of the night, whispered something about the patriot act, and took my tv.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
I'm treating myself to a " uve slept with yet another mr. Wrong" breakfast
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Today I left one job interview, showed up randomly at his house for a midday bootycall then left right after to attend my second job interview. I got both jobs
Only ESPN could find the two ugly girls from a school in Florida
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I've decided to become a librarian so I can drunkenly quote The Mummy and have it be legit.
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
Randomize
