So the D.A.R.E. essay I helped my tutor kid write won an award. Oh the irony.
I am at the point in my high where i now know/understand chinese.
the best thing about dollar beer night is beer is only a dollar.
so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
even the sluttiest version of myself will not go down on him
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
We just banged and he's microwaving shrimp noodles and I'm eating tostitos alone in the dark this is why our relationship works
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
Look, if it comes down to it, I’m spraying whipped cream on your nuts
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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