worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
No it wasn't her, this girl had both hands.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
I always give him head in random places, it's a guessing game for his cock.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
It's okay though. My mom didn't believe that they were mine cuz they were magnums. Having a surprisingly large penis ftw
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
There will always be a place in my black heart for him because he gave me my first sex-induced orgasm. While you slept on the bunk above.
Ive only just recently decided that NOT fucking you would be best for both of us.
Dude he took a shit in the lake and it just floated around and lingered near our boat for 2 hours. I fucking hate that kid
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
She is 6 months pregnant and gets more action at bars than I do.
Randomize
