kristin has been a bad kristin
I just masterbated while imagining him getting hit by a truck. I have hit a completely unacceptable level of anger & bitterness. Help.
Going out so taking the 2nd 1/2 of beer w/ me ont'tube in a Pringles tube. I give money to people on the street that have more self respect.
You leave me no choice. Your vagina is grounded. It can just sit there and think about what it's done.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
My New Years Resolution is to get everyone to start talking like a 40 year old douchebag. From now on, you will only refer to me as Chief.
This is ridiculous. I’m in fucking college getting high off a potato.
Holy sore nipples Batman
If you binge watch Bill Nye Saves the World without me you can consider yourself single
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
and then she asked if she could shave my junk
and howd that go?
can you pick me up from the hospital?
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
