You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
last night i was so high that when a homeless person asked me for a dollar, i responded: dolla dolla bill ya'll.
She had a muffin-top while wearing a one piece bathing suit. Thats gotta break one of newton's laws or something
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
So is it safe to say that my only objective from last night is to finish this entire jar of peanut butter?
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
All the doctor said was why
I was taking this cougar home in the middle of the night I walked across the hall all naked to take a piss and ran into to some chick from highschool she said no way you are fucking my mom ran into her moms room and started yelling at her
Maverick's sitting in jail wearing a turkey costume and I am soooo jealous.
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