shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
This football player keeps talking about his drunk dad. I think he may start crying. Does this deserve a roll tide?
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I fell into a police barricade, a cop helped me up and asked if I've been drinking. I just looked at him and said "dude.." He proceeded to take out his handcuffs
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
I just had a sexting conversation using medieval jargon. I think he is a fine suitor.
Your vagina is like Nancy Drew lately.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
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