You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
I keep trying to sit and the chair keeps running away from me
Kelly Kapowski is pregnant and it's not Zach Morris'. I no longer believe in true love.
You watched "From Justin to Kelly" and sang along to more than half of the songs. I didn't know whether to laugh or to be insanely frightened that you knew almost all the lyrics.
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Hey do you think you can sew an adult onsie with easy access if you know what I mean!!?? It must have bunny feet.
Yeah but I was the kid who ran over your BMW and is banging your 15 year old daughter... There isn't a cool enough dad in the world to make that work.
No. I'm too high for this. I gotta focus my mind for my future Hooter's interview
I just got carded by a ten year old.
Oh Jesus our whore days are numbered
Just a little. Like do I say "hey I'm the girl that's fucking your son, nice to meet you"
he told me he wanted me to go see his cat. apparently i was more interested in playing with his cat then having sex.
I’m glad they have a happy marriage but why do they have to inflict it on the rest of us?
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
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