O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
It was fun until I shot a pea out of my nose while throwing up. Left over tuna casarole at 3Am was a terrible choice.
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
i found a twelve pack under my bed. and a six pack in my closet. I'm like a fucking alcoholic squirrel.
Freshmen girls are like potato chips you can't have just one.
I had sex with her like 200 times, and she was only pregnant once, those are pretty good statistics.
Remind me to switch to jello when you decide to do shots off my ass. It's so much easier to clean than this pudding.
A houseboat for a bachelor party is a terrible idea, we nearly die when on dry land, so how the hell are we supposed to survive a 3 day binge on a massive lake?
I blame it on the rum. It keeps jumpng doqn my throst.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
Are you saying being a wizard and going to hogwarts wouldn't be life changing, believe in magic you fucking muggle
Randomize
