All I know is that if italians start TIME TRAVELLING were all in a lot of trouble paizon
I've already planned a drinking game for mtvs jersey shore....jagerbomb everytime they do
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
It's like the only way I know how to apologize is by giving a blow job.
Slutty costumes are my most sacred holiday tradition! Wearing a not-slutty costume is like putting cheezwiz on a communion wafer.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
sorry
why?
oh you didn't look in the living room yet, did you?
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
you said I shouldn't try to fill the void in my meaningless life with dicks but i am trying and it totally works
You've never felt ridiculous until you've walked through downtown in a Viking costume
I fucked a marine... I told him it was like personal revenge and he said he could live with that and that he didn't mind being used.
Seriously, I really just burned my nipple making ravioli.. I'd explain, but no reasoning makes this acceptable:/
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
Randomize