5 Four Lokos being cheaper than a case should be illegal.
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
She tried to lure me back to her house by saying she had "real" pizza.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
No. There is no way we have to stoop so low as to ask your dad for weed. There has to be an alternative.
I'm 22 and I'm drinking hawaiian punch from a sippy cup. Everything is right in the world.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
He deliberately gets me high because he knows I fuck better and then I make food for two. I don't know if I should feel mad or proud of him for thinking that far.
I'm pmsing pretty hard.. .just cried 3 times while eating a Hershey bar dipped in peanut butter
Randomize
