i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
I walked down to the adult beverage store and got two bottles of jim beam and s shooter of crwon black label because we didn't have any Tylenol
Fuck that must be a crazy sunburn.
only clue right now is the orange grease all on my clothes. debit card denied so I know something weird went down..
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
She sent a group text pic called "Assemble" of his dick next to her forearm.
I'm down.
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