Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
What baked good do you think says thanks for being a great tutor, lets bang?
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
Ok, gonna go sleep cuz my brain wants to be smart and not follow my pussy into the danger zone
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
Just got flashed by an entire bus of girls in school uniforms. We then had to wait beside each other at a light. It was awkward.
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
at one point, i told him to buy you a pumpkin spice latte and uggs because you're a common white girl and that's how he should get you in bed
He sent me a blank text message. That's a booty call waiting to happen
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I woke up uncovered, spread eagled to my dad saying "you really need to stop sleeping naked."
I'm not just straddling the line between love and hate, I'm dry humping the shit out of it
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Looking back at our past texts, the minute it turned 2020 you were cleaning your house and I was dying of the cold. We were prophesying the Rona.
Randomize
