Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
some kid came into the principals office and tried to explain what he was sent there for through interpretive dance.
i just saw someone crawling up the stairs to the dorm while screaming "i have the best vagina!"
We should probably avoid doing this again, but hey it was a nice one time thing to tell the grandkids about... Hopefully they don't end up being YOUR grandkids.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Never backflip into an above ground pool. I think the gash will be smaller by Monday though.
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
Jesus christ. I put you on speaker when you called me last night and you told me to brush my teeth with a dick.
ever bang a guy wearing an $800 suit? today you will.
I feel like this is something I should shave my legs for
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I woke up in nothing but my socks and my hat a cigarette in my mouth and a beer in my hand..........GREAT NEW YEARS
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