Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
No. No. And hell no. If you are driving a Honda Fit you are not allowed to give me a dirty look. No.
So last night I taught an old homeless dude to respond to "Blue" so I could shout your my boy Blue at the party
I was like, booze is the closest thing I have to a father. Don't pour daddy down the sink
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
with the way the semester is going, being a stripper is starting to sound better and better everyday
I'm crying during the second episode of Golden Girls that's how high I am.
my morning attempts to try to have sex with him was interrupted by the passion of the christ parade going on outside my house
I'm smoking and watching the Muppets Treasure Island. Where are you?
Something about that statement reminds me just how much of a role model you are, sis.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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