dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
at home by myself drinkin the left over champagne from my party... who says my birthday has to end?
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
The used rubbers I threw behind her bed all semester must have landed on the baseboard heater. They went up in smoke when she turned on the heat last night.
I don't think she considers it a date unless she publicly urinates
Invite that kid who wants to become a priest. I WANT ON.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
his daughter has his phone and goesss ohhh boobies and shows me a picture of my own tits...
My plan for the weekend: 1) Get shit faced in Vegas. 2) Not die
I gave him a handjob in the uber car. Life is really spiraling downwards.
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Randomize
