I have found the one flaw to the great pride I took as a guy to not have to sit down to pee...having to sneeze while peeing.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Come home. Power Hour by yourself is only fun for the first 10 minutes.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
My last memory involves me naked in a mens's bathroom stall. I really hope my date was with me.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
Just woke up from a first date on the futon watching Arrested Development by myself, him cuddling another chick in his room. Simultaneously the best and worst one night stand in history.
Bonus: took me 2 hours to get home on the streetcar cause I spent my cab money on drinks for his friend last night.
I just finished a four mile round trip walk to CVS to buy shaving cream and lube. You're welcome.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
I tried getting kicked out of my favorite bar. No matter what I did, I could do no wrong
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
FYI there's a girl here with happy daddy written on her tits
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