is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
he's a bartender at a gay strip club. maybe he can work his magic. with getting u in, not gay magic.
I've never watched DWTS before, but this show's got Pamela Anderson, Erin Andrews and Brooke Burke: 3 of my top 10 all time most masturbated to women.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
Sober me does NOT approve of what went on in my pants last night.
Getting sick, pulled the filter off a camel crush and rolled it into my joint to clear my sinuses. If there were stoner awards, I'd receive one.
You sent me a picture of you licking the bottom of a shoe and the caption was "it tastes like shoe"
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
No, gay couples have the same problems straight ones do; I wish that we could go back to the days when he would shit with the door closed.
So I just watched a seagul attack my boss and steal his food in the parking lot. Today might not be a bad day lmfao.
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
Alright I'd bang a 4 sober, It's been like 3-4 weeks or how ever long 4th of July was ago. I wanna fuck something.
4th of July was 12 days ago. The date is literally in the text you just sent.
I don't care about the dates I just wanna bone something.
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
I'll be honest, this year's Vegas trip will be nothing short of disappointing if there's no repeat of the angry ménage a trios in a closet.
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