My face smells like last night's lay. I need a whore bath. Or a corndog.
new midget porn idea. Wizard of Jizz: Munchkins Revenge
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
Puked up what appears to be battery acid next to the treadmill. Everyone noticed.
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
My shoe was in my mailbox this morning. I can't stay sober today.
I feel like your dick pick is everywhere. Never have I needed to be so careful when posting pictures.
This summer has already been like the best summer ever. FREEDOM IS AWESOME. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND GOD BLESS THE SINGLE LIFE.
I just said "I love my cat" as a hobby.
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
Randomize
