put your butt on the phone this is a booty call
that's the ideal party shoe. cute, but i can still puke in them.
No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
I googled what to do, and it said to squeeze the pressure out so people are taking turns sitting on my head. I can't believe I'm allowing this
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
I don't know if I should be scared or excited that I can officially drink vodka on the rocks like it's 7up.
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
fell asleep while jerking off ln. woke up to my hand in my pants and my cat crawling all over me
Randomize
