I hate you but I'm not in hate with you
I think you blew our chances when you yelled "YOU SLUTS COMING TO THE TITTIE BAR?" in their face
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
I had to explain the gravity bong to my mom. Right after she pointed out I have a lot of dicks on my floor at any given moment.
He just stared me dead in the eye as he continued to beat off. Then said "you were going to catch me sooner or later".
you were drunkenly making out with a 20-something in front of your wife. at least the guy your wife left with was decent looking.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
Just burnt my tongue. Not sure if it will help or hurt giving blow jobs
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
I just swiped right for a guy on Tinder solely because it looked like he was holding Zoboomafoo
Scientific fact: if he makes a face like a demonic dog when he's fucking you, makes it easier to fuck without feelings.
Calm down I'm not kidnapping the bartender
I'll do whatever I want when I'm 80.
If you are still alive at 80 I demand a medical explanation.
Just had a reminder come up that just said "Ham"
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
Randomize
