I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
I CAME AT YOU WITH RAW FEELING
you grabbed my dick through my pants and hissed at me.
One question: Why is your trash can full of blood and pop-tarts?
He just texted me asking if I remember pinching his eyelid shut with my eyelash curler.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
Girl, we were harassing people from the top of a building. I don't know how I got down, but I'm eating chocolate cake in my kitchen. Sall good yo.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
You know it's NBA season when you compare head to 3 pointers.
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
I cannot believe I accepted his penis into my body.
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
Randomize
