I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
And dont tell me its his job to cockblock me just because he's my boyfriend.
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
Either I'm too drunk or she gave me a hand job to the rhythm of jingle bells.
WTF DUDE?
Stay calm. I'm sure there's a heterosexual explanation for this
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
Dude. My tinder just blew up in Seattle. I'm moving here. I don't give a fuck
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
YOU SLEPT WITH A GUY WHO HAS A BILLBOARD IN HIS HONOR?
I've had pants off for 3 hours now. America.
Randomize