i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
you know he's having a sex change. I can't believe you called him "titty man" to his face....
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
At least I wasn't still dressed as a bottle of dom perignon when they took me to the ER
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
How do you delicately ask if your friend's dad was arrested for solicitation of prostitution?
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
I apologize for using the phrase "monster cock hentai porn shit" to describe that guy I picked up last week.
The frequency with which I change my vibrator batteries is getting a little ridiculous....
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