so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I just got a 45 minute blow job...she literally sucked the single life outta me.
u sound so gay right now
So I drew a giant robot attacking a city on the chem test. My TA colored in the fire on the burning building
It was worse than when we pepper-sprayed my dick. I feel mislead.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Remember the girl passed out in front of my fireplace?
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
I'm such a good drunk match marker. You single, you single... Drunk friend meet single boy. BOOM illegitimate baby made!
His pillow talk sucks. It was like Mr. Roger's vagina.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Just found out my dad smokes weed too. Mom, grandma, all aunts and uncles, and now my dad too. It's like I'm genetically engineered to be a stoner.
Randomize
