i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
the next morning i told him i was impressed that he remembered my name. he said it wasn't that hard when "tracy
I just found out you can file for divorce online. I love America.
This girl just introduced herself as Queefer Sutherland. She's on a roller derby team. What. The. Fuck.
We left the bar in 2 bicycle cabs. It cost thirty bucks and they took us to the wrong hotel. When we finally made it to the right one we ended up in a room with three randos from alaska. Jammed out with them for like an hour. Those inuits are good guitar players
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I just realized that at some point last night I told someone I would only be friends with 16% of them because the other 84% stole my people's land
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
okay yeah but you've seen me eat jambalaya naked
Dude I swear I'm scooping human shit out of the litter boxes. What the fuck happened last night?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
Shame - the story of my life.
Randomize