im at a bar with my dad last night and he got hit on more that I did
i now know from two sources i am better at making out and giving head than she is. and not by a little either.
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I have a test in the morning in sign language about signs for drugs and alcohol use. Im drunk and rolling a blunt. I've never felt so confident about a grade in my life.
Package arrived for me from the gf while she's on vacation..under the bed bondage kit and new lingerie...my boner could drive to the airport
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
And I woke up by myself with peanut butter.. Cool
*tries to be fun and flirty* *literally gets peed on*
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
Randomize
