yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
While I was banging her, her cell rang. She checked to see who it was, answered it, and moaned, "I'm dumping you."
Think I just saw your homeless guy on High Street. Did you give him back his crutch?
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
So I can officially say that someone has licked whipped cream off my nipples. Go senior year
I just imagined myself as R2-D2 and you as C3P0 walking around the Vegas desert looking for alcohol
Only you could make a reflective vest look even remotely sexy
You're never gonna guess who's blood is on my shirt
Why do I feel like I really don't want to hear the end of this...
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
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