id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
Is it sad i was sitting here thinkin how i would only fuck Rob Pattinson if he was glittery at said time.
I just queefed in yoga class and now the old man next to me is smiling at me.
I just saw a San Diego firetruck. No wonder they can't figure out how to fight wildfires if they get so fucking lost they end up in Nebraska.
I drew a venn diagram at the top of my final comparing stuff i know and stuff on the test.
How's work?
Spinning.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Thou shall not celebrate other people's birthdays as if they were thy own
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
Bartenders are not toys. I repeat, bartenders are not toys.
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I know he'd never cheat on me. It'd be like choosing Mexican tap water over Patron.
Beer acquired. Food is cooking
Wow, you are almost sliding into home plate for some stellar fellatio
Smoked a blunt with my dad then introduced him to cinnabon delights. Today was a good day.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
