I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
my new ipod has external speakers and a video camera...all i can think about is how much more convenient it would be for me to make a pretty decent sex tape
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
Your CAR. Is in a LAKE. I'd say "a big mess" is a pretty conservative description of the situation.
I just spent my entire state tax return on sex toys
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
She fell off the bed and giggled until she passed out naked. It was really weird.
Probably not gonna date her.
YOUUUU FUCKING FURRYYYY
I DIDN'T COME HERE TO BE SLANDERED LIKE THIS
You are hungover. Your arguments are irrational an incoherent. We only played twice. Have some Gatorade and take a knee.
Randomize
