You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
Be sure to let me know if your relationship crumbles so I can resume hitting on you
You gave him head? He fingered you? A little bit of make out?
WHAT THE FUCK ITS LIKE YOU WERE THERE
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
do herpes really smell.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
THIS IS NOT A DECISION I MADE AT ONE IN THE MORNING IM JUST GETTING AROUND TO TELLING YOU ABOUT IT NOW
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
I will forever remember this as The Great Jalepeno Cock Burn of 2014.
It's brunch. If you find dick at brunch. You an A+ hoe.
Randomize
