Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
you made them have somersault races with you thru the lobby..
mind if i send you a dick pic? so you can see what she wasn't doing right?
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
Last night after the bar I went home and ate a pulled pork sandwich in a bubble bath
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Remember that time you came over to my house and I was on the porch naked and eating peanut butter?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
I think you should just bang him and get it out of your system.
That's what you say about everyone.
reason #1 why i should never live alone: i haven't put pants on since she left 26 hours ago. and ive made spaghetti 3 times.
If I'm legally allowed to go to jail than I should legally be allowed to tell a cop to fuck off. Basic principles.
Yea, but did you really have to throw a sandwich at him??
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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