My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
Doctor just prescribed me 20mg Ritalin 3 times a day. It's becoming the "grain and oats" section of my food triangle.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
trapped on the roof of the strip club. help
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
Tiny.
I mean tony. It's like autocorrect knows he wasn't well endowed.
With a breakfast like weed and a fun size twix before a dentist appointment you can see exactly how I handle being an adult
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Our nipples touched last night. It was tender.
He has no idea I'm scrolling through Instagram while he's going down on me. I'm so bored.
He started me on Celexa. I think I feel like Bjork. Is that normal?
Like... my feet feel like little octopuses, and they want to swim to the next room.
Randomize
