tequila makes my crab dance SOOOO much better
i just used my scantron for my final to make paper shotglasses. i'd say i passed in flying colors.
What'd you guys eat?
Literally everything that was frozen.
I miss Michael Jackson so much sometimes
I am getting my wife a tattoo just above her butthole that says, "For entry just add tequila."
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
Why does it always end up with me crying in my car.
Well, at least he doesn't refer to you as his associate. his mattress associate
Is it bad that all my wine bottles have teeth marks in the cork?
the fact that i already established a hook up buddy for thanksgiving break is genius
who's job is it to make sure we don't run out of tp since the incident of 09'... Thats right you go get some
I showed him my toy collection and he goes, "You won't need those anymore," and dropped his pants. I threw the House of Pleasure out last night.
I can hear my family downstairs singing Christmas carols as I masturbate
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
This is the most exciting thing since movie theater hand jobs
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