wow, farting in latex pants is really awkward.
oh well we may not be friends on facebook but at least i got laid
epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
I learned nothing from that class except drinking and chemistry go together great.
I'd steal beers with my tail. If I were a monkey.
the only good thing about him lasting five minutes was that nobody thinks i had sex with him or that im a slut because we were only in the bathroom for five minutes
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
My roommate just walked in on him eating me out ..happy finals week right?
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
PSA- Wearing assless chaps results in embarrassingly painful sunburn
Oh, now I remember why I deleted your number. You're kind of a dick. Please delete mine.
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
You know he wants it bad when he starts going door to door for condoms.
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