My dad just yelled at me for going to youth group with out telling him. Apparently going out to fuck a girl without telling him gets me a high 5, going to youth group gets me grounded.
ashley and jimmy are about to have sex on degrassi.... EVERYONES GETTING LAID BUT ME
And then I chipped his tooth because I got too into it. Helloo, single life.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
he made me scream out "#24" while we fucked...no more football players
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
I mostly enjoyed dancing with him because his boner was scratching my bug bites.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
We love you just as you are but we might love you more if we didn't have to post bail so often...
I pull out like 90% of the time, but that's just to make art.
I'LL COME GET YOU. GOTTA FIND A SUIT THAT COVERS TIT BRUISES FIRST.
He has silky zebra print sheets, which you would think he put on just for me, but the bed was unmade. Did I just sleep with a closet case??
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
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