"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
New realization: eye makeup remover takes sharpie off boobs
apparently when the FedEx truck drove by, we tried to chase it down thinking they were delievering a 30 pack...great night.
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
Dude. I only took a 20 out the ATM last night. How do I have 83 ones?
You stole from the strippers again. I wish I was ninja like you
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
I woke up half naked on the floor next to his bed, and his cat was staring at me like it had seen everything that i myself don't remember..
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
Know anything about my roof collapsing last night?
Tequila.
I emailed the police apartment to apologize to the officer from last night. I practically threw a hissy fit because he wouldn't hug me.
It was "against protocol"
His dad was on the tv delivering the local 11 o' clock news while we were having sex
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
In California. Through an entire game + OT. That’s a long time to have an octopus in your pants.
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