When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
He went so fast i didnt even have time to pretend like i was about to have a fake orgasim
Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
i just went through and liked all 1,239 of her pictures instead of writing my english paper. don't tell her, i want her to be surprised
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
There is ecstasy everywhere. Get over here right no5w. The 5 is silent.
I almost had to get my pinky cut off. Wow I'm so happy. We won beer olympics so i didnt hahaha
What's grosser: using a dirty sex towel as an oven mitt? or using the oven to reheat superbowl bean dip for dinner?
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
and if planning a fake elopement keeps me from fucking strangers and doing drugs, i think it's good for me
I'm having post-experience "why didn't I fuck her in a public bathroom" regrets
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
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