Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
i remember you telling me to take a shower, brush my teeth, go get back in bed w her, and "just do what i was born to do." and as soon as i stopped yacking i did just that. you saved my birthday.
Imagine if you could have something so delicious, like your taste buds went on LSD while eating a chocolate tiramisu. That's the opposite of what cum tastes like.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
No, I'm just drunk and was excited cause a hot stranger bought me tacos.
moral of my life: don't tell a guy you want to have sex with him. he'll get back together with his ex.
Is eating a dinner of fishsticks and gin mean you're failing at adulthood? I'm asking for a friend.
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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