whats the weirdest thing you ever masturbated to?
King Triton
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
My mom is getting really tired of hearing the excuse 'it's 5 oclock somewhere'
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
I feel like after all he sees, the dog needs to get baptized.
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
It's only 11:30 and she's already making friends with the homeless...
They got their marriage license when they were at the courthouse for her arraignment.
yo btw licking skeptical coke off table right now
Dude, jerking off when you're all hopped up on pre workout energy supplements has got to be the greatest thing I've ever done.
Taking care of a girl who just peed on my floor so tonight is not a good night for sex
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
Randomize
