i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
blow job with a beer in the shower, I just created the ultimate day spa for dudes
I had to move some guys boxers out of the dryer. This is the closest I'll be getting to dick this month.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
On the plus side I got to ride in a fire truck and I didn't have to blow anybody for it
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I don't know. Something about answering "what did you do on Sunday?" Seems odd when the reply is, painted, went to the grocery store, put a restraint device on my bed.
hotboxing with the ex-bf's two most recent hookups. they just realized they're eskimo sisters with his best friend. this is what happens when I come home for Christmas.
She just rubbed her face up and down my six pack cooing. Equal measure of weird and hot.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
What's protocol when the 18 year old son of an anti-gay preacher sends you a message on Grindr during church?
I rode home in a shopping cart so there's that. MVP to the guy that pushed it.
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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