PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
im sitting in the back of my pickup eating an artichoke. please come find me, im scared.
that was a mass text, wasnt it?
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
She was really fucking loud. My neighbors definetly knew my name...
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
My three rules on what I'm wearing tonight. Something short, something see through, and something i had sex in.
Her boyfriend was hitting on other girls while drunk. But, she said she was okay with it because she is a feminist and she supports all women's decisions.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
there is vomit in the pocket of my dress coat. i remember thinking "this is a weird place to puke" at some point in the evening, but i dont understand how i did this.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
WTF moment this morning: we were getting ready to leave and he reaches under his mattress to pull out his gun. All I could do was look at him and go "really?!"
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
